My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
