It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
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I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
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He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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