Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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