Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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