yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
