we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
