i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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