well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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