She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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