Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
