Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's shark week go big or go home
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize