Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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