on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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