It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
