Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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