Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize