my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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