I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
