I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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