Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
