The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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