oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
