pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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