To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
