that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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