Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
