i barfeds in our rink
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
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