Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
