You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
