Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
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