you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
