It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
