i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize