I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
