no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize