dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
