u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
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Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
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It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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