We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
