I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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