I want to stick my p in your. b.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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