I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
