i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
