You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
