I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
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My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
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Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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