there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize