I hate all girls vehemently.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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