Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize