Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Randomize
