So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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