You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
