The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
