everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
