it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
