ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
