he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
