Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize