If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed