Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
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I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.