i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.