My brain says no but my pants say off.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
